As our family celebrates one year on the mission field today, I did a little reflecting:
Two years ago when we visited, we fell in love with this country and the Kekchi people, having full assurance of God’s calling on our lives. Throughout the challenging time of fundraising and language study when I needed encouragement, I repeatedly recalled the many ways God had restated and affirmed his call. Shortly after we returned to the states after that 2013 visit, I heard the song “Never Once” by Matt Redman, and it really spoke to me. Some of the words are:
Standing on this mountaintop,Looking just how far we’ve come,Knowing that for every stepYou were with us...
Scars and struggles on the wayBut with joy our hearts can sayYes, our hearts can sayNever once did we ever walk aloneNever once did You leave us on our ownYou are faithful, God, You are faithful
I envisioned us, shortly after our arrival, standing on a mountain here in Guatemala and listening to that song, really feeling all the meaning of the words. But that didn’t happen.
Instead, when we arrived, I was incredibly overwhelmed. I did recall this dream of mine a few times, but always with the thought that it was too much to do, too much to consider.
Now that we are a couple months in, I could probably do it, but I don’t feel it in quite the same way. Where once I saw this as the end point–the end of fundraising, the end of language learning, an achievement–I have discovered that it is truly only the beginning–the beginning of our work, the beginning of relationships, the beginning of a growing trust in God. Rather than looking back, I feel the need to look forward and grow my faith to a “trust without borders.” Coincidentally (or not), we were introduced to a song with those words in language school, and it has since played repeatedly on my Spotify playlist here as well as at a couple public places we have visited (in both English and Spanish).
You call me out upon the watersThe great unknown where feet may failAnd there I find You in the mysteryIn oceans deepMy faith will standI will call upon Your nameAnd keep my eyes above the wavesWhen oceans rise my soul will rest in Your embraceFor I am Yours and You are mine..Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
Wherever we are, it is true that we are and never have been alone, and that is a great encouragement, but my focus needs to be in the other direction. Looking forward, looking to grow in whatever way God has for us. Trusting HIM to keep me above water when sinking into myself seems so much easier. The more I focus on this, the more I see the extent of God’s faithfulness to us each and every day.